cool shitx vintage sunglasses, so getting it tmrw x)

Heeee heheheh i really really love this sulky face of yours XD it makes you looks 109324765 times chubbier ! hahaks sho cute ~ okie pls dont be mad , i shall post another picture of you awright !

  will this do ? well my face look like shit here so fair-fair eh ? hehes . tonight is not bcos i dont wanna type your goodnight text , well i still type your goodnight message but on the laptop for today .. just feel like trying out something different yknow , we did have goodnight text through the phone and talking it out straightaway before so now i just feel like trying this out . could post some pictures as well ~

Firstly firstly firstly , im really sorry that my phone is really sucha fucking dick bcos it didnt receive your texts ! all along i also thought that you're the one who is lazy to send me reports , thats why i didnt send any .. yknow me , i wont give in first , i'll only send when you send me first :/ so yeah ... so how's everything today ? what did you catch up on with your dad and stepmum ? good to know you will get a new job soon with the help of your stepmum , say thanks to her for me ! hahas x) my day was so-so , not so boring neither it is fun . watched piranha 3DD and catch up on the 3 episodes of AM3 that i've missed . and today there is chocolate ice cream at home ! ouh-my-gosh i definitely gain a few pounds from it =.= ate a lot of ice cream this week , soon i will need to buy clen from you lol .

so yes back to the point today was just *blank* for me . did you celebrate father's day with your dad ? ouh well i dont know how to talk to my father , seems awkward for the both of us :/ nvm one day you will follow me to meet him and we should try to cheer him up aye ? hahs okay i love my father , and i definitely love you too ! so used to meeting you almost every single day and when there is a day which i wont be meeting you (like today), i get damn bored and sad and that *wtf* feeling .

totally cant wait to meet you again , and hey i just realised one of the movies im waiting for and forgot about it was ATM ! hahs yknow the one they're stuck in the small ATM room in the middle of the road and someone wants to kill them ? bet you remember it , so yeah we must catch that together soon ! hehehs . so what time are you gonna get to the fucking bed and sleep ? make sure you dont screw your body clock even further okay ? your sch is starting soon , must have a fresh start all over . not sure what time im sleeping , feel like eating ice cream again but its fattening ! zzz , ouh well ...

NIGHT NIGHTS my chubby seanny ! dont sleep too late , we're meeting tmrw right ? cant wait to see ya bby ! i love you wee teck ~ *hugs&kisses* <3

SOME KISS FROM ME OKAY OMG I KNOW MY FACE SUCKS BUT I WANT TO KISS YOU K

i dont know what's with me . i motha fucking hate my life in rp right now . i used to have this huge hatred towards sec sch life , but this time in rp , its MORE MORE MORE in fact its overflowing =.= i swear i never ever expected it will turn out like this . this is way worse than what i least expected . i do expect things like starting being a loner again and whatsoever . i see it coming and im just kinda neutral with it cos .. having the closed ones to you is just enough , inside or outside school i dont care . butttttttttt I NEVER EXPECT BEING A QUIET PERSON IN RP WILL MOTHAFUCKING PUSH DOWN YOUR FREAKING GRADE =.= OKAY I KNOW ITS GOOD FOR TEACHERS TO HEAR YOU PARTICIPATE IN CLASS DISCUSSION OR WHATSOEVER BUT IN MY FUCKING OPINION , DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT WAY OF LEARNING . UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME , I PREFER TO LISTEN AND EVEN WHEN SOME EXTRA STUDENT SAY SOMETHING , I WILL ALSO LISTEN AND TAKE WHAT THEY SAID INTO MY THINKING AND FROM THERE I WILL THINK EVEN FURTHER , WIDEN MY FUCKING THINKING AND THATS HOW I FUCKING LEARN BITCH . IM NOT THE TYPE WHO IS LOUD AND WILL ANYHOW SHOOT WHATEVER IS ON MY MIND COS I LISTEN AND THINK HARD . JUST BECAUSE IM QUIET , I WILL HAVE A FREAKING LOW CHANCE OF GETTING GOOD GRADES . THATS SO UNFAIR FOR A STUDENT LIKE ME . I SERIOUSLY THINK THAT THERE IS A LINE BETWEEN BEING YOURSELF AND FAKING SOMETHING & IT THE END YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT . i think it will just takes time .. but ive been in rp for only nearly a month and within the 1st week ive alrdy dread it and i just thought maybe in a few weeks time or whatever i will get used to it . but as days passed by , im only dreading it more and more to the point where my attendance is partial just bcos i cant take it and i would say that the average number of times i always skip school is around 1 or 2 days per week ? i dont know if its good or not but if i miss 4 classes for each module then basically im dead cos i cant take my first test =.= latest withdrawal is 30th july , i still have 2 more months to consider .. its not that i dont like the course/module . i think i can definitely do it . but because in rp , every single day you will be in a group , different group for different module so basically different groupmates everyday but it will be the same for every week till the semester ends . so when im in group , like always i tend to listen more , i do my work , its either i tell them what i do or they tell me what i should do . just like that , i just talk less , do more . even in discussion , when they explain their thoughts i will just listen and only when i think that they are wrong or anything then i will speak on my thoughts . so far im not so sure how my teammates evaluate me but im pretty sure that wednesday the faci of sociology thinks that i didnt do a single fuck . and she kept on indirectly told me/the class to evaluate your teammates carefully and every single lesson she said that she will have a percentage of students who will get a D grade . fuck la this faci , muke dah mcm babi busok =.= i clearly know that she was referring to me bcos we were reshuffled to a new group and my new group is those people who talks a lot while im the only one who is sooo quiet and im just there , awkward like hell and i think thats why the faci thinks i didnt do anything but actually i did what they told me to do ! this just makes me hate sch more ..

dear blogger

i hope i really did get the job , hope they inform me when to start :/ lol & i hope i dont need to pay my phone bill or needa give them money now . i mean its for my poly , if i dont work i dont think they will give me any money to buy new clothes . poly leh , cannot wear anyhow one =.=

and things kinda get way shittier . as days goes by i realised how shitty the problem i had in front of me all these time . to think for the 2nd or 3rd time , i think its quite weird for me to be under my father's custody but ive been living with my mum eversince they're divorced . but i really want to live with my father tho . i want to start afresh with my brother and father . i know things are just fucked up for us .

i have a father who lives at his workplace and any of my family members including me rarely gets to meet him & i have a brother who is a tranny and have been living on his own since he was 18 & also rarely gets to meet him . i know they are so lost , they just do what they've always been doing and cant think about the future . i know they need some guidance and be controlled . but it sucks , when i really wanna try to help but realised that i just cant do anything . i know little things can help a bit but i guess not for my case . maybe im younger than them , so they dont really listen and take my words seriously .

i cant help but blame my mother for all these . even my aunt said so , even my friends too when i told them about the whole thing . i just hate her , i dont wanna live with her . whats worse is that her new husband is also getting fucked up as days goes by . they're expecting me to work and use my own money for my school fees and also provide for myself . i did work early this year , not obeying them but bcos i dont wanna see their fucking faces and furthermore maybe trying to train myself to provide for myself so when i start on my permanent job next time i can live on my own and not see their faces again .

but then something unfortunate happened , my grandma whom took care of me when i was small & i was close with was admitted to ICU . it was really torturing to see her in that kind of state , i keep on breaking down & i swear that was the only time when i really 'doa' to allah damn a lot to save my grandma bcos no one could handle it if she is gone . i made up my mind to quit work cos i wanna be by my grandma's side all the way . i mean you can find work anytime but if your loved ones is on the verge of dying , thats the only time you will have to see them .

for 2 weeks i went to the hospital consecutively , overnight there for a few days too . the irritating part is , my fking mother can actually think that i went out with my friends & even overnight with them =.= ! she's also mad bcos i quitted my job , WTF SHE'S JUST A PERSON WITH NO FKING HEART , THERE I AM CRYING EVERY SINGLE NIGHT COS I DONT WANNA LOSE MY GRANDMA , THERE SHE IS THOUGHT THAT I WENT OUT HAVING FUN . THE FUCK ? but thank god my grandma is fine now , just that the doctor said the sickness will come again so we will be expecting the whole thing to happen again . but i really hope it wont happen again .

so just recently i went out to look for a job again , my mum said that 'want to work for what later you will quit after a few days' . seriously ? she thinks that i quitted for fun . what the actual fuck ? & her husband also the same , want me to work only and get my own money so i can pay for my own stuff so dont need to use theirs .

i just wanna get out of this house and start afresh with my father and brother . my mum dont need me . my father and brother needs each other . i pity myself for being in sucha situation . life is so unfair . i dont want my father to be skinny & growing white hair so fast cos thats what i realised when i finally saw him at the hospital visiting my grandma , which is his mother lul =.=

i really hope things will be fine , it gets really frustrating when a bunch of problems came at a time .

380th post

ouh btw i think my head looks so big in this pic .
dont think i'll update blogger that frequently . didnt post for quite some time is it ? O's in 34 days , WTF . imma avoid laptop for 4 days/week , max 1 and half hours . k wth skali i didnt follow my own rules . k bye .

k sch's like totally shitty but also sometimes kinda better in certain areas . one thing i know now is i hate my bio teacher , i cannot get a single shit learned from my chemistry teacher = total fail for science . seriously i wanna drop science . plus i dont get it , why would i need to learn so many subjects when im just aiming for L1R4 . learn other subjects will just waste my time only . thinking of just 1 goddamn subject that i hate plus the teachers who makes it worse for me can really makes me mood go down , like really downnnn .

i seriously hate the feeling i get when i sensed the teachers are demoralising me . it just sucks big time . id rather have them not bothering about me than saying somethings which really freaking pisses me off . sometimes i do get the feeling like - "ouh im gonna make today really productive" & like really doing the best i could & then there would be just some fucking shit that happens & just totally bring me back to that i-dont-give-a-fuck-about-school attitude . i mean im really trying but i just hate it when shit happens , especially when teachers are the one who made that shit happen to me =.=

people always say sacrifice for just this year & something like - its the heart which really counts or wtv . but cmon for someone who stays at the east side like me to go all the way to the west side for school every single morning , you will get fucking tired of it . i can assure that you will eventually get tired of it , yea eventually . people talk like its so easy but they know nothing about it . for 2 years , i get sick of it , freaking tired of it . its not really easy , it really affects my mood a lot . i know i talk all these shit & should prolly just move the fuck on & deal with it . yeah im just doing it for the sake of doing it but sometimes it just really get effed up & just wanna babble about it =.=

i feel like giving up my O's . i feel like i couldnt think anymore for myself or something . its like totally blank & idk what to do , what's really effective for me . dont know why im being in such a situation & why im like the unfortunate one to go through all these stupid shitsxz but still important for my future . i mean O's is already one hell of a task & yet i have some other issues which kinda acts like a barrier towards me from getting a good solid grade .

nevertheless , my princess keeps me up .
i loveeeeeeeeeeeeee princess

goodnight/goodmorning

ive been playing sims since i reached home till now . anw raya with friends just now & i feel like i didnt take a lot of photos , me not satisfied . but kinda lazy to upload photo also ley . &&&&&& i missed out playing the fireworks cos i went off earlier to meet princess & thought of playing fireworks with princess but all shops were alrdy closed =.= aku pun cry mother cry father . k no lah wtf so lame =.=

this whole week , art art art except for today i lied that im sick just to go out raya . gonna stay till 9pm tomoro , complete drilling or whut . i really wanna try to get & want to get distinction for art , hope so . urm studies like shit , O's in less than 2 months , i seriously dont know wtf is gonna happen to me . i really hope something will knock my senses or wtv .

hmm k i just feel like updating this so yeah bye

i luvv my princess . lol

think i didnt update for quite long eh , ugh but no one comes here anyway except for princess , i think , occasionally . in case budak ciner comes here , this post was supposed to be on friday , a day after my temperamental shitz which then leads me to 'ignore' you in a way . but wtv , saye rindu budak cinerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr walaupun saye dah jumpe dier semalam . k mcm mushy .

i feel kinda weird i didnt take much photos during raya

hi me dont really loike today . as per usual if i were to follow my stepfather , it will be dead awkward for me . okay i know this year is just my 2nd time with him/them but i guess it will just be the same . i dont talk to some random stranger & its really awkward when the whole family already knows each other & they are just doing their thing & im here a freaking newbie just stoning there =.= k i dont really know how to explain it but yeah

well the people there is nice , very nice but y'know they've been together as a family & i totally feel extra . now i've made up my freaking mind that i wont follow my stepfather again . next year i rather be at home eating/tumblring than going out with a family that is like a complete stranger to me . i just dont like the feeling . i hate it . but in a way i feel bad cos im like stopping my stepfather from following them . but even my younger brother cannot take it . ugh this kind of family stuff is just so sensitive or idk what word to use . the whole day i kept on tweeting & udating my fb on how dreadful i was towards the trip & how desperate i am to go back home .

i realise when im getting older & older , that 'Raya' feeling is fading away each year . idk mansxz is not really that kind of joy i used to feel last time . to me now raya is just another day , but with some special clothes or whatever . or maybe its because there's a new family & the way it goes changes so im kinda tired of it . even raya money i dont really give a fcuk . but yeah seriously money is not everything , i know money can make me happy by going shopping but i think its like second priority . without that comfortable feeling , i really dont give a shit about anything & what i want is just to be home =.=

k i cannot stop bragging about this . i know last year my blog post during raya was worse cos i almost cried due to the loneliness & how awkward it was being with strangers . k enough . i dont wish to upload any pics cos i look LIKE SHIT =.= idk why im sho lazy to look my best today . i hope this saturday will be better cos going out with mum's side , so yeah .

&& my father didnt pick up my call . called him but he didnt text me or call me back :( wanted to talk to him with my younger bro as well but dont why he didnt respond back . i want my father to know i really love him so much eventhough we rarely meet & also if he feels that he's in a dark time , he is not alone & im here dying to be with him & take care of him & just everything ! heeeesh dont want to recall back previous raya , make me so :( so ayah , ingat saiyidah sayang ayah ! & sadat pun okay ! harap ayah okay !

think i must do well for O's to make my father proud . not to make my mum or stepfather but my father to be proud . but just now at my stepfather's side , all of the kids there did really freaking well for O's & in really good school . i must not lose face hahah at least a poly pls .

hmmm quite a long post , anw i havent count the money yet . but havent finish visiting sial , i still got 2 more sides to go , mum's side & father's side . today also im the one who wants to go back early & in the end making my parent go home also , trip not complete =.= but yeah i cannot take it nvm i can work my ass off after O's to get $$$

my family from malaysia came here for raya this year . so long didnt see them & omg my relative whom i used to be so close with now kinda turn chubby in a way . awkward right now .

anw i think i bought a lot of stuff from New Look this month . or maybe all my stuff i shop from New Look this month . i think kinda overspent a little bit today , again :/ but nehmind , once in a while self-indulgence . k ah wtv .

short update , imma watch Sekali Lagi , hope it wont freaking lag

i just cannot stop talking about school . i cant stop talking about how dreadful school is but at the same time i wanna do well in school . i know something is just wrong with my thinking or wtv , like i completely know how freaking important O level is but im just not doing anything to reach my goals . even right now im wasting my time typing this out but i just wanna say it , idk why . i think im just not awake . i totally need someone or something to knock me hard in the head & just mfkg shout at me that i should start a REAL REVISION/STUDY . just 60 days , why cant i just freaking study like mad & for once clear this shit & do well . guess im really slacking & taking things too easily . but really , physically right now im not interested in this =.= omg FML pls me i wanna study & do well :(

but had a really great talk with friends just now . in a way i get to say how i really feel & stuff . they made me feel kinda left behind or smth like that in my studies , which really makes me feel i need to do something to be in the same pace with them , which is good in a way for me . yknow it sucks to know you're not doing as good as your friends & i hope by this i just start cracking up & yeaaaa . ouh & thanks asyikin for doing a new target setting for me . i think its really achievable yknow if i really study hard . k lah of cos lah if study hard may get good grades but really seeing a few of my subject's result i think if i push myself i may get what i want .

i guess my first step to get what i want is to NOT DREAD SCHOOL & prolly love it ? lol but yeah once i think negatively about something , the outcome of it wont be that good :/ so must have positive thinking right right right blogger

first thing first , complete my art 'satisfyingly' . art is like the only subject left which i think i may score higher & i should really put that freaking 110% effort & get at least B3 , k i aim for A2 at first but then i realise its freaking hard =.= lol skali art result i get lesser eh , hah pathetic cry mother cry father . && hope the malay paper i retaking again would be a lot more easier or something .

ouh wow forever talking about studies & doing well but forever lazy =.=

damned bathing freaking early in the morning is so goddamn refreshing . hmpf , i can feel my eyebag is getting super puffy & sort of sore . stayed up the whole night to chiong my art & i really hope that tay wont ask me to re-do anything again . anw kinda lovin my new site , huhu . k bye blogger . time for sahur , makan makan makan . && wonder if i should go for math mock later on o.o i think i have a lot of mc(s) these days . o level in less than 65 days , i better wake up

@yidargh . new new new follow follow follow can

im kinda agitated by myself , just because i lost track of my spending & ending up being completely broke =.= ive already bought my shoes , & 'bag'? but goddamn stupid membership idk why i sign up & cost me 60 bucks . i really really hope my mum will buy from me the bag i just got from New Look . k mum says it looks like a bag for aunty or wtv . wtf its from new look but second glance , i kinda dont like it . anddd mum said to give it to her & i ask for money in exchange for that . pls buy from me :(

on the other freaking hand , i wanna get new clutch . not bag or handbag or whatever . i want a goddamn nice clutch . tsk i also want new heels . went to a website i really want to get my hands on those shoessss . k not enough money i better shut up first .

and ouh my gawd my body fat percentage is 25% . i think it went up o.o god . k ah bye blogger . imma go bathe now . needa rush my art , omg 2 weeks to submission :o

*k i just decided to add in . well , its sort of too personal like my feelings & whats been going through . but i dont really think i should spill it here but i i just feel like saying it somewhere . k its quite huge . bottom line , i just feel tired of life or something :/ and idk , i feel like im never gonna settle down . and another part is , i kinda hate the feeling i get when i sense some people dislike me for being with a certain someone . life couldnt be more suckish huh

ouh so sad . planned to go to izzy's class but found out it was cancelled cos he's going overseas . ouh well , next time .

mt result , got a B . totally not my goal =.= but 20% distinction , thats kinda quite little . im so gonna retake . but yeah , ive alrdy expected to get a B but i was still hoping to get an A . screw up my oral . hope i can get an A for my 2nd try .

till then blogger . ouh ya im still thinking what shoes and bags should i buy o.o

eye infection that gives me 3 days mc , so syiok >.< but my eye kinda really hurts that day , i looked like a freaking cyborg or something . anw im bored . like really goddamn bored . i know i can just do some revision or practice my math but i just got no mood :/ i feel like its still holiday . ouh , o level english oral tomoro , i better do my best .

anw idk why yesterday i spent a great time with my younger brother . he is such a freaking irritating dickhead to me , but sometimes he's such a good kid , like really good . lol , weird . shared some things , kids can be such an angel , SOMETIMES . but hope he's fine , hope the caning is not gonna be so bad .

k im really bored & i wanna watch some movies but idk what movie to watch o.o

catch up with farna & din yesterday , heeee forever funny . i love giving people the cat riddle XD especially seeing their expression after knowing the answer , trolololololol . anw , went to a few dance showcases , i kinda miss dancing now , a lot . but must clear o level firsttt

so urm before this i was just thinking of like to keep reminding myself i loveeeee school to encourage myself to just go for school & get it over & done with & just do my best . not until i went to check my timetable & tomoro's timetable is the worst of the worse =.= but i should love school . i guess the reason why i hate school is because i dont like a certain subject & i went to exeggerate it till i dread it & finally hates school =.= so , from now on , i love all my subjects , i like school .

this is just a way to interest me to school & motivate myself . blogger , y'know i really wanna do well for O's , less than 70 days now . i dont want to waste it . i dont wanna go ITE , cos im taking O level & its totally not worth it if i go ITE . if i take N level , i wouldn't even give so much fuck about my studies =.=

on the other handddddddd , i think i have no mood to raya 0.o

hi blogger i have nothing to do . first time im home during national day . i dont know whats up with me today . sorry emy , i pai tao-ed you :/ i feel like today i was too hungry till im so fking lazy to go out . cowboys/aliens tomoro XXXXDDDDD

anw , felt like im having a supa long holiday . feel like exams & O levels is over , school is over & im just over here tumblin' all day long . thursday im having sci practical & totally feel so lazy to go to school 0.o after thursday confirm zero mood to go to school alrdy . wait , now alrdy zero , so i guess after that would be negative alrdy . k lame .

i baked butter cookies just now . grandma says it's a lot more better than the previous one . but i still think it kinda taste not nice . im expecting my cookies to taste like famous amos , no wonder im always disappointed with the results . k whatever

y'know , i like to talk to myself at my blog . y'know that blogger ? i know there's no one who drop by here , maybe princess sometimes will go here but other than that , i feel like im one crazy kid talking to herself XD hahah omg i love what im doing . say whatever that i like , no one to stop me & yeah , i think people who are like me should do what im doing . keep feelings to ourselves & then vent it on blogger . i love you blogger , you're always listening to me .
oh my god , FOREVER ALONEEEEE TROLOLOLOLOL

urgh wtf lah why this movie keep on lagging & stuff ? ! idk if its my com or its just the goddamn movie but its seriously making me so pisssssssssssssssed =.= hmm i feel so lazy , i dont feel like going out . i just feel like eating . 4 more hours to go , oh-em-gee

dance showdown at ngee ann was quite awesome , eventhough its quite quite underground & not a huge competition . but omg i quite like it yesterday :DDD esp the part i get to taking pic , trololololololol . k there's still more but im kinda lazy to upload on fb

erm k this is so short i feel like typing some more but i dont know what to say . when i come up with something & feel like blogging then i update lah k bye .

love princess love princess miss princess miss princess

Kinda not fair . Not far at all

regret :(

i guess prelim if effed up , like always . nono i should look on the bright side . this prelim i actually really studied , but last minute =.= but its different from those last min studies last time . kay ive already tried my best . i just hope i can continue in keeping consistent in my revision till O's eventhough i know results for prelim is still that bad .

ouhya things get shit-tier eh . cos of this i cant concentrate on last few papers . i dont freaking understand why some people need to control me , especially when outside school . wtf no such thing k . & i also dont know why they need to decide on who i should not mix with . that is my goddamn problem . eff those people . the more they avoid me from it , i feel like the more i wanna hold on to it .

& yeah again eff themmmmm , i love my princess a lot

what a week :/
& anw , parents wont be buying house sooner :( cos of some COV or idk what shit so im gonna stuck in here for some time again & i really cant wait to get out . hmm actually kinda a lot happened this week . idk why it has to happen during my prelim . kinda too much things till idk where to start . but so far prelim papers were kinda , idk ? i hope there's hope for me to pass .

k imma do science & ss now . ciao . && captain america later . hope he wont pai tao

idk why im really really dreading school

ugh this always happens few days/weeks before exam , every year =.= but this time i know even if i dont come to school , i should study damn hard & chiong all the way . kay uh may be a bit too late but i hope to at least pass ? if i really cannot do it then i also hope i fail with a nice number , not those really ugly number :/

anw , its a new week . to my princess ;
i know uh last week kinda effed up , but after those shitz i think we start off this week kinda well ? hope it can stay like this , no more shitty times or whatever . i know sometimes or most of the times you tried real hard to control your anger , but i will also try to take more initiative aitesxz :/

Happy Belated Birthday Qistina ; i kinda love children , but only when they are good to me

*omg is the gif not working?* knn

even when im home i dont know why sometimes i kinda hear their voices 0.o aiyoo im thinking too much . anyway , i really love them a lot a lot XD but i love my princess more

my sore throat & other whatever shitz is stil not curing . hmm think i wanna go clinic & i hope get 3 days straight MC . omg k i have a plan already . im really really dreading school these past few weeks & just nice i have some sickness . but i hope no asthma uh , i feel like its coming somehow . . . lol k pls pls pls 3 days MC

then . . thursday start prelim . not ready k . seriously not ready especially for sci , combine humans & math . i think i really need to get something done or whatever right now . i know ive been saying this for i dont know how many dozens of times & i know till now there's no progress or whatever . but yeah like what asyikin says , i need to force myself . needa do more for art . needa do A LOT for chem , chem seriously can go and die .

k enough . about phototaking , omg sumpah that day i got bad hair day siulsxz . hate it okay . dance fun shot , i really hope my face is not unglam . urgh !@#@%^$%^%$ menyampah lah muker confirm mcm ape =.= but really hope they snap the photo when my head is turned behind . better right than showing that unglam face

kinda long didnt update . Staying over at my aunt's place for nearly a week now . Most of the time im playing around with my little cousins till i dont care about my tumblr , and yeah blogger lagi2 fb , fb memang boleh gi jahanam . But omg sumpah rindu my cousins . K idk what else to say . I'll do a proper post next time . Lurveeeeee taking pics with my babygirls . Haha

niway , hope my plan will go smoothly tonight :/
& urm , so short eh ni post

tomoro's timetable is kinda effed up . chemistry , 4 periods of maths & 3 periods of geography . excuse me , saye boleh mati ok . all i dont like , menci menci menci =.= im having like a really bad nose/ear block right now & sumpah irritating . having flu & dont know why till it affect my ears to be blocked , like really that day when i woke up then suddenly everything seems to feel worse & sore & blocked ? not ear shit okay , its like idk what thing . now i feel some sore throat coming & yeah , my voice sounds kinda tired . i dont feel like going school tomoro but its racial harmony day :(

k ah id rather not go school because of my flu which i can use as an excuse & also because of the shitty timetable , VERY SHITTY AKU BOLEH MAMPOS 4 PERIODS OF MATHS =.= summore its not my usual math teacher & now its temporarily replace by this teacher who makes me ... idk (insert word) . but then tomoro is racial harmony day & some of my friends alrdy expected me to wear traditional clothes & its like my very last year in zhenghua so i should not miss it . i find tomoro quite an important day . lol my very last year but on the other hand ive got some shitty things going on like my shitty timetable & my shitty flu + sore throat .

i dont know why im treating this like a big matter when its just a small freaking matter =.= i know ah just make up my mind then everything settle . eh but i wanna wear indian traditional clothes seyh but no one seems to have , no indian girl in zhenghua(i think) , no indian friend

k whatever bye

Harry Potter with norita , omg its awesome shit . kinda have that impact when watching it . harry potter movies have so much values in it . think back about the first movie till the last , omg that feeling , so hard to explain but nvm . teared a bit when snape died . cried when harry watch snape's flashback or something . that part , was like the most heart-piercing thing in the movie . so fast 10 years went by eh , i didnt read the book , i only watched all the movies & yeah a decade of an awesome movies . jk rowling shouldve wrote another one or two .

anw as-per-normal camwhore & damn wanted to wear my jacket & realised there's something wrong with it . the print thingy kinda like wear off or something ? bottom line , i need new baseball jacket =.= i hope my parents will sponsor .

pantat urh wanted to hear misteri jam 12 but at last got lovebites =.= eeee geramnyer aku dah boleh tahan lamer tk dngr MJ12 . hmmm k i know before i went to blogger i kinda have a lot to say but now i just forget everything . uh wtv anw my rasta bag arrived yesterday X) kekekek k ah i know ah no big deal . but i missed out the part when the postman is supposed to pass it to me . i was asleep yesterday when the postman came . last year when the postman hand me my union jack items , im like one little kid who just got a freaking big teddy bear sey . k ah whatever .

sister ran away again ):

cb sey came home last month or last few months then stay at home for a while only & now staying somewhere else again . urgh 19 & alrdy staying by herself , k ah not herself but with friends , aku pon nak sey . then all her stuff gone now , feels awkward :/ but i think she got take a few of my clothes , knn shouldve taken a few of her clothes before she left

k im so lazy to go to clinic to get mc . i hate geography . i hate chemistry . A LOT . CHEMISTRY & GEOGRAPHY CAN GO & DIE . DIE DIE DIE . summore both geo & chem teacher kinda like give up on me or something . especially chem =.=

anw i realised i havent been on com for quite long , i think . my fb can go die , blogger like , okay ah i update blogger more than fb . but that day managed to tumblr a bit ^^ heh . kkk my rasta should arrive latest by friday . pls pls pls faster

hi i feel so dead .
i wanna fast tomoro or something , pay back last year's fasting days which i didnt fast -.- boleh slim down skit ...
i also wanna plan my freaking time properly . prelim in 3 weeks time & now i can still blog , wtf but i have completed all my work for tomoro's lesson k , except for art . k wtv plus i should really stop wasting my time , complete all my work first so i can have enough sleep cos my sleeping schedule is freaking eff-ed up during school days .
&&&& nabeeeeeei international shipping takes around 10 business days so i will only get my bag next week or early next 2 weeks :(


k bye , i realise i like to use this expression(-.-)
anw , i feel like deactivating fb , its so dead . i also dont know what to do with it
-__________________-"

hiiii bloggie ive not much free time during school days that makes me have no time for tumblrblogfb . especially tumblr & blog =.= sometimes i just like to throw my stories at blog .

1)ive got this transformers stamp & i think its like goddamn dope gila x) imma use for school , stamp an autobot logo beside my name . fuh cannot wait

2)just now i kinda screwed up my O level malay oral . it is so goddamn not satisfying . the convo was kinda hard :/ this totally makes me feel i will get B4 or wtv . im aiming for a goddamn distinction =.= if i dont get at least a B3 , i will retake . i think most prolly i will retake mansxz

3)my rasta bag havent arrive yet !@#&%#%$%^ urgh i hope its not some scam or wtv but no lah dont think so , i got receipt but its been like 4 days . k i know its still quite early but they said they will be shipping it out on tuesday & rasta bag , please come to mummy ! need you for school :( but i still love union jack okay ! just that i want a bagpack & its so goddamn hard to find a union jack bagpack .

4)i cut bangs again , but longer a bit . k i know random

What have i fucking done to deserve this ? Why ? Don't you like me or something ?

i tried so goddamn freaking hard . I spend hours & hours & this is what I get ? Why don't you give me a chance ? can't you like me for just a day today & give me what I want ? Maybe I shouldn't have wasted so goddamn much time on you little thingy . bastard sia I wasted a lot of time on you & it didn't turn out the way i expected it to be . cbcbcbcbcbcb go die k , you belong to the rubbish bin ! =.=

Transformer 3-D for the second time

anw my baseball jacket just got kind of decolourisation or some colour mixture or whatever . must be washed in the wrong mode , k wtv i think i wanna get a new baseball jacket .

ouh ya , Transformers 3 again just now X) heeee . actually wanted to go to woodlands & see my baby cousins but my aunt last minute ask me to watch dark of the moon cos she have one extra ticket . then of course uh wanna follow watch my transformers again , hah . still cant help it , i still freaking prefer & miss Megan Fox . Rosie Hunington is like too tall & too 'womanly' . &&& just now when my brother was looking for something in Toys'R'us , i saw many many many transformers toys , like duh toys'r'us of course uh have transformers =.= so yeah , i feel like buying , especially those kinda big ones :o display only lahhh k whatever this is just FYI

*edited new paragraph .
ouh ya bought a rasta bag online , including shipping fees & shit , 41bucks & i think its kinda not worth it . uh nvm i didnt pay for it anw . so yeah hope it arrives ASAP , if can by tomoro ? lol impossible . k new rasta bag , come to mummy now . . k mepek

wanna go sleepover at woodlands next week . mizz staying there & baby cousins when i was in sec 1 . so fast 4 years went by . my baby cousins also kinda grow up so fast , not as cute hahah but still very cute . k this part totally not needed , aku macam feeling-feeling plak . but hey , i miss my 13-year-old look , eventhough there's not much different but life was way better back then


one of the cutest , Qistina< 3 Rinduuuuuuuu

K SERIOUSLY AKU SYIOK SENDIRI =.=
hmm didnt go out this weekend , what a shock

eeeek havent been on com for soooo long . finally tumblr-ed heh . but anw feel like ive got nothing to update :/ but so goddamn bored right now . its weekend & im not going out & no plans at all . so not used to it & my feet is dying to go out , think i'll go woodlands & meet my baby cousinsxzsxz <3<3<3

things was kinda shitty few days back . k i know its partly my fault but i didnt have any intention & well everyone knows about it plus you know yourself where it started . k whatever i should forget about it =.= alah but im used to it this kinda thingy lah . i rarely get involve in some small shit matter .
in case pig-gy reads this , sorry for saying this about your bestfriend . i - just - wanna - let - it - out .

TRANSFORMER TRANSFORMER TRANSFORMER

booked tix for transformers 3D . YEZ YEZ YEZ ! lol cannot wait , im gonna watch it on the day it release ^^ durh mcm jakun sia aku . but really cannot wait . k stop it & anw cant help it , im still in my holiday mood . eh i mean im never in a school mood =.= didnt come to sch today , feel like kinda lazy to come to school tomoro . kkkkk gonna force myself to finish up my homeworks now .

*ANW ANW ANW
dont know why im sooo happy . lol . submitted a photo at a tumblr blog which i followed & he actually post it . heee k ah i know no big deal but dont know why so happy
k bye

camwhore a bit , looooool

back to school tomoro . EEEEEWWWWWW =.= k i just dont like school . i mean not that i dont like but i hate the part when i needa wake up early in the morning & the fact that im staying sooooooo goddamn far from my school && especially forced to learn some things which im totally not interested in & dont think i kinda need it for my future . but i know very well i need a good result for my future =.= k wtv

well urm maybe i should look at things at the brighter side . lol like whut ? k few more months to finish school , in school i can meet friends & blah blah blah . k but seriously i wanna do really well for that big O level . i really hope that study club will help me , cos im never gonna study well at home . i mean at home there's so many distractions , y'know like bed , food , laptop Lol . then ... help out with my younger bro in his studies too ? lol i myself cannot do my work then wanna help others -____-

12am , i havent do quite a lot of my homeworks :/ hmm , tried to do it since 10pm just now but idk im sooooo lazy . tot of just skipping school tomoro but think back , see my schedule & stuff , lol better not . eh , since just now im talking about school stuff . uhh bottom line , today i dont wanna finish my homeworks & starting from tomoro then i will get ... idk whut , get more prepare ? alah whatever lah .

andddd i made somehow pissed :/ dont know if you're reading this , i hope not but if you are then im really sorrrryyyy :( no hard feelings cancancan . i'll find a way to make it up , eventhough i got no idea what should i do o.o

ugh knnbccb =.= shit shit shit

:/:/:/:/:/

idk why but i always feel that i dont go up to people's expectation , like people who are really closed to me . i think i kinda treat everything like shit . i myself dont know wtf i want & i dont even know whatheck i should do . its like i want it & i really want it but i just dont seem to be doing anything to get it . i think i dont even treat people right , as in like really right & the way im supposed to freaking treat them . i dont wanna look bad :/ almost everytime i will think & think & think & think & think & trying to figure out what the freaking heck im feeling & what is it that i really want . k i just dont know how to describe it , whatever . kkkkkk but still i wanna let it out . i think maybe this is just not my thing or something . yeah . k bye

OUH OUH OUH ANYWAYS !
just now this maid in my house like kinda irritating or something . i mean i was surfing the net then she came to me & ask me to go to her friend's facebook . i mean i dont mind uh but then she kinda like spend a lot of time jumping to different people's profile & expect me to scroll down the wall for her , looking at the pics one by one till im sooooooooooooo freaking bored of it & super annoyed =.= ! k i know who cares .

but then then then , there's this cousin of mine here who started getting violent recently . i dont know why the heck he turn like that . he's like only 1+ ? & will throw stuff at people . example throwing a shoe , ball , some hard stuff at people . like no manners like that ! k i know ah still small , should understand but this one is like really fucking irritating cannot behave . just now my grandfather beat him cos he's getting way out of control . in my heart i was like - yes yes yes beatttt himmmm . k i sound so bad but really he's really bad . imagine a toddler keep throwing stuff at you & he even dare to throw a fcuking shoe at you repeatedly & you just cant do anything about it cos he's still so small , of cos you will get irritated whut cos you cant possibly do anything to him back -.- k enough enough . i should stop complaining

camp was awesomeeeee ? well i think first day only . second day was kinda having this tired mood or whatever . plus when we wake up , we're not allowed to bathe . that really makes me feel awful =.= not freshhhhh . but overall its fun fun fun . gossip gossip gossip with those girls , sumpah i love all of them ~ hahah anw learn some tut(s) , first timeeeee



anw came back from camp , showered then sleep mcm babi until 11 plus then till now :D k i know sape kesah but whatever . 4++ am then update , dont know if i can sleep later . uh wtv again , imma try to sleep now

k this is sucha short post but i just wanna update . a proper long post for the next one .

didnt watch urban floormix :/ but nehmind . town then bugis just now . these few weeks ive been like walking quite a long . idk man , walk-athon or whut ? just now we walked from orchard to bugis , few days back i walked from tampines to bedok & did that quite a few times . whoa , burn those fats mansxzsxzsxz .

anw , think im kinda bored with town . like almost everytime i go out , will go town :/ like first time sey i feel kinda bored at town . window shopped there also kinda like zzz . k maybe if i have a lot of $$$ then wont get bored ah ^^

ermmm according to my clock its 1.06am . i have camp starting at 7.30am & needa get up , get ready around 5.30am later & outta here by 6.15am . lol k i got nothing better to say =.= uh wtv . hmpf , i Still Havent Pack My Stuff . lazy to pack . alah 1 night camp shouldnt take that long to pack eh .

just woke up , lol k i think my sleeping schedule is kinda effed up . home for todayyyyy

slacked & camwhored at studio , feels like really since i dance ley . uh wtv monday dance camp :D & im on my period . having a period during a camp is so goddamn freaking irritating okay

k idk what to say . err pimple please heal faster ? ouh ya i hope i can finish my development for art by tonight , i hope tomoro they're going to urban floormix , i wanna watchhhhh

extended my hair . erm . k idk what to say . i wont post any pic of it yet . kinda like it , like kinda find smth wrong . ugh whatever i kinda like it . its part of my plan since last time . lol wtf get money i spend all on this . k now back to no money . mcm forever pokai sey

anw , i got a big fcuking pimple on the center of my freaking cheeks =.= damn irritating can ? ! ugh ugh ugh k whatever short post . i feel like deleting the previous 2 post . i think im kinda over

I KNOW IM KINDA OVER-REACTING IN MY PREVIOUS POST . HMM NEW POST AFTER AN HOUR . A SMILING PIC OF ME SHOULD MAKE UP FOR IT . HEEEE I SHOULD CALM THE FCUKING DOWN . I SHOULD NOT WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING & JUST TUMBLR . TROLOLOLOLOL . K ANW I FORGOT WHAT MOVIE I WANTED TO WATCH

i dont know why im kinda agigated over nothing . like really NOTHING . tsk just now before i go on blogger , i know ive got quite a lot of things to say but now , urgh cb luh forgot everything . ouh im kinda irritated by art & homeworks , especially art . ms tay's words keep on playing in my mind & it kinda pressurizing me . k wtv go die lah . tried to finish my art but im forever stuck at abstracting =.=

anw seriously i dont know wtf happen to me now cos i seem to be spending my money away on like , nothing ? i mean i like i could go out with some money with me & when i got back home , i left nothing & brought home nothing . its like , boom disappear or something ? idk this kinda annoy me cos its been going on for a few fcuking months . ive never been this broke before =.= last time i will always have some spare money & some savings . now , not even a single cent . k im just really annoyed cos i got sooooooo many plans , like really A LOT OF PLANS so i thought of saving money but that seems to be not happening at all , lol

i keep on asking from my parents but end up being nagged at cos like i said i keep on asking & every single time i end up spending on some transparent bullshit which i cant see . ugh weird they can buy for me a dslr but they dont wanna spare a 50 fcuking dollar for me when i ask for it . k ah partly my fault , not my luck i think . not my day not my month :/ k wtv i sound greedy . i should not care about money . but money makes me happy :o

ouh ya just remembered what i wanted to say since just now . i really dont like it when people think they know me sooooo well . like they think they know everything about me but actually no . k maybe a lot but not everything okay . you may know what ive did , but you dont freaking know what ive been through so pls dont talk so much about my life , especially when i myself didnt say anything about it =.=

watched SBDC just now . quite some time since i watched a dance competition , even dancing . lol while watching it just now , had many goosebumps . freshest nutz is hella cute + dope .alrdy expected them to win , those boys in pink deserve it . omg they're like only 14 i think & they have alrdy go damn far , whush (Y) all the best in Las Vegas ~

hmmm , wait for amyrah so long . think imma do it tomoro . kay idk why lately i didnt post much & even if i post , its so damn short =.= like really short & in fact its like nothing at all

anw , i still have kinda a lot of homeworks not done yet . omg especially art

i like taking candid pics :D


HAHAHAHAH that mouth cute pe







1. whoaw , my mum suddenly wear tudung today .
2. whoaw , i talked to stepdad & mum like normal .
3. whoaw , my stepdad have sucha lot of faith in me .
4. i want to extend my hair asap , amyrah mon pls pls pls