2007-201(?)

i dont know what's with me . i motha fucking hate my life in rp right now . i used to have this huge hatred towards sec sch life , but this time in rp , its MORE MORE MORE in fact its overflowing =.= i swear i never ever expected it will turn out like this . this is way worse than what i least expected . i do expect things like starting being a loner again and whatsoever . i see it coming and im just kinda neutral with it cos .. having the closed ones to you is just enough , inside or outside school i dont care . butttttttttt I NEVER EXPECT BEING A QUIET PERSON IN RP WILL MOTHAFUCKING PUSH DOWN YOUR FREAKING GRADE =.= OKAY I KNOW ITS GOOD FOR TEACHERS TO HEAR YOU PARTICIPATE IN CLASS DISCUSSION OR WHATSOEVER BUT IN MY FUCKING OPINION , DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT WAY OF LEARNING . UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME , I PREFER TO LISTEN AND EVEN WHEN SOME EXTRA STUDENT SAY SOMETHING , I WILL ALSO LISTEN AND TAKE WHAT THEY SAID INTO MY THINKING AND FROM THERE I WILL THINK EVEN FURTHER , WIDEN MY FUCKING THINKING AND THATS HOW I FUCKING LEARN BITCH . IM NOT THE TYPE WHO IS LOUD AND WILL ANYHOW SHOOT WHATEVER IS ON MY MIND COS I LISTEN AND THINK HARD . JUST BECAUSE IM QUIET , I WILL HAVE A FREAKING LOW CHANCE OF GETTING GOOD GRADES . THATS SO UNFAIR FOR A STUDENT LIKE ME . I SERIOUSLY THINK THAT THERE IS A LINE BETWEEN BEING YOURSELF AND FAKING SOMETHING & IT THE END YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT . i think it will just takes time .. but ive been in rp for only nearly a month and within the 1st week ive alrdy dread it and i just thought maybe in a few weeks time or whatever i will get used to it . but as days passed by , im only dreading it more and more to the point where my attendance is partial just bcos i cant take it and i would say that the average number of times i always skip school is around 1 or 2 days per week ? i dont know if its good or not but if i miss 4 classes for each module then basically im dead cos i cant take my first test =.= latest withdrawal is 30th july , i still have 2 more months to consider .. its not that i dont like the course/module . i think i can definitely do it . but because in rp , every single day you will be in a group , different group for different module so basically different groupmates everyday but it will be the same for every week till the semester ends . so when im in group , like always i tend to listen more , i do my work , its either i tell them what i do or they tell me what i should do . just like that , i just talk less , do more . even in discussion , when they explain their thoughts i will just listen and only when i think that they are wrong or anything then i will speak on my thoughts . so far im not so sure how my teammates evaluate me but im pretty sure that wednesday the faci of sociology thinks that i didnt do a single fuck . and she kept on indirectly told me/the class to evaluate your teammates carefully and every single lesson she said that she will have a percentage of students who will get a D grade . fuck la this faci , muke dah mcm babi busok =.= i clearly know that she was referring to me bcos we were reshuffled to a new group and my new group is those people who talks a lot while im the only one who is sooo quiet and im just there , awkward like hell and i think thats why the faci thinks i didnt do anything but actually i did what they told me to do ! this just makes me hate sch more ..