dear god

didn't attend school today as i am not having the mood to run . esp it is more than 2.4km . was quite hyper & interested before this . but then suddenly felt lazy to run :/ anyways , i've been listening to my malay dance song over & over again these days . keep on repeating like mad freak .

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as time passes by , i fear if we cant be as happy as last time . i can't hide my feelings , but i also can't admit it & tell to the whole world . i could only let it out bit by bit to satisfy myself . this feelings is so damn complicated , more complicated than you can imagine . i myself don't know what's happening to me & why am i like this . if only someone knows how i feel , if only they had been through this complicated problem before . the problems lies with me . it just a sudden feeling , none of your actions lead me to this . it's just my own fcuking feeling that made me do this . i myself didn't believe that i did this to my own friend . i've never did this before to my own friend ALL MY LIFE . i don't know why god make my this way . i hope i will do something to make it better . i don't think things have changed . i think im the one who have changed . but i myself is confused & didn't know what to do .

all i could do is to pray to god to make my day better & brighter each day & to give me a new good life as i closes my eyes every night .