2007-201(?)

kinda had some talk with norita & asyikin just now . heh asked them some things & kinda poured out everything . seems like im not serious eh ? idk mansxz , y'know i cant avoid myself from feeling anything which i dont want to feel . soooooo , this is just the way i feel . i dont even know if im dead serious about it . its like i dont really give a shit , but at the same time i do . its just so complicated :/ ugh that kind of feeling when everything just crumbled up . i dont know if this is what i really want , i just dont freakin' know what the heck i want .

i dont want to lie to anyone . but there's just part of me that's like - is this how i wanted it to be & another part of me which goes - im just gonna go with the flow & idk whut shit .

k i sound sooooo [insert word] =.= lol wtf